Friday, November 16, 2007

A Story About Bulb Fertilizer


Last week, when I was at Jenna's, I made a stop at Lowe's to get some bulbs. Well, that wasn't the real reason I went to Lowe's, but I did walk out of there with several bulbs, which probably doesn't surprise anyone.

As I put my purchases into the car, I remembered that I had intended to buy bulb fertilizer, but had forgotten.
I turned around and walked back into the store and grabbed a couple of bags and went to stand in line to pay for them. Why is it when you've forgotten just one thing that all of a sudden there is a line at the checkout winding halfway around the store and you find yourself at the far end of it?

Not too long after I got in line, a man joined the queue right behind me. Out of the blue, he asked me what was in the bags I was holding. He thought the bags looked familiar. Um...okay. When he saw it was bulb fertilizer, he said, "Most people don't know that a little of that goes a long way. You must be going to plant a lot of bulbs." Yes, as a matter of fact I was, I told him. Hundreds. (Okay, so I exaggerated just a bit, but I honestly don't know how many and I'm pretty sure it approached two hundred, and that's plural.)

He proceeded to tell me about how you only needed a very small amount of fertilizer for each hole with each bulb and even a small bag like I was buying two of would really take care of hundreds of bulbs. Yes, I know. And I'm really quite proud of myself at how pleasant I was when he was being so generous with his advice about bulb fertilizer. I mean, I know he was just trying to be nice and helpful.

But what I wanted to say was:

You have no idea how many bulbs I'm going to plant. For all you know, I might be planting bulbs at my house, my neighbor's house, and my neighbor's neighbor's house. Maybe I'm buying it for all of us and we're going to share it.

Yes, I know it goes far. That's a wonderful thing about bulb fertilizer, unlike those sprays like insecticidal soap that I swear contain three squirts and some air.

I do not want to run out of it as I have in the past. It's so irritating to be down on your knees, planting the last twenty bulbs when you've run out of bulb fertilizer and the nearest store is half an hour away.

It's fertilizer, for crying out loud, and there's no law that says I can't use it for fertilizing things other than bulbs if I want. Plants can't read.

It's cheap. Like $3.27 a bag cheap.

Instead, I just smiled and let him pontificate about the bottomless bags of bulb fertilizer I was buying. I haven't decided if listening to him made the time in the line seem to go faster or COULDN'T THE LINE PLEASE GO ANY FASTER????

I did learn two things that day. One is that free advice is just that - free. There for the taking. Or not. But more importantly, maybe I've been in line with someone before and I decided they needed my advice. And maybe, just maybe, they didn't.

9 comments:

Lisa at Greenbow said...

I hope you feel better after your little rant. I am proud of you for being so pleasant to the Mr Know It All. Probably like the little boys that pulled your pigtails when you were young he thought you were cute and just had to say something.

Kylee said...

LOLOLOL! Oh Lisa, you are funny! That thought never entered my mind, and I'm not so sure about it. LOL. This is so sad - I never had pigtails when I was younger because I've never had hair long enough to have them. Well, I guess I did try, but they looked more like Manx cat tails. LOL.

MrBrownThumb said...

LOL, that's a funny story. Reminds me of myself sometimes when I'm giving unwanted advice at the HD greenhouse.

Annie in Austin said...

Some men use instruction as a flirtation tactic, Kylee - bet Lisa's right and he thought you were cute!

Annie at the Transplantable Rose

Vanillalotus said...

Oh I know that feeling of those that need to say what they know. I'm sorry you had to experience that and I'm sure your advice is much better than his. Good luck with your bulbs.

Muum said...

good story, I am guilty of giving advice in line, although sometimes it is hard to resist- like the March day I was in line behind a couple who were buying one of those $5 jasmine plants and trying to decide where to put it in their zone 4 yard!! I had to stop them before they killed that little aromatic beauty.

Sylvana said...

I have used the bulb fertilizer as a top dressing on established bulbs -- so how did he know that you weren't going to do that? Good for you for maintaining your cool.

I used to buy guinea pig food from a store near my house. They sold it in little bags, and I didn't like having to run to the store every week for food, so I always bought several bags at a time. And EVERY TIME the clerk (not always the same one, mind you) would feel compelled to ask just how many pigs I was feeding anyway. When I said just the one, the clerk would lecture me on the wrongfulness of over feeding. Needless to say, I quit buying the food there.

Kylee said...

Sometimes I give advice that's not asked for if I happen to overhear someone talking to someone else and neither of them know the answer. Otherwise, I generally keep quiet.

And sylvana, I've used bulb food worked into the soil above planted bulbs, too, and that's probably what I'll be doing a little of this week during the warmish weather. Love your guinea pig food story!

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