A Story About Bulb Fertilizer

Last week, when I was at Jenna's, I made a stop at Lowe's to get some bulbs. Well, that wasn't the real reason I went to Lowe's, but I did walk out of there with several bulbs, which probably doesn't surprise anyone.

As I put my purchases into the car, I remembered that I had intended to buy bulb fertilizer, but had forgotten. I turned around and walked back into the store and grabbed a couple of bags and went to stand in line to pay for them. Why is it when you've forgotten just one thing that all of a sudden there is a line at the checkout winding halfway around the store and you find yourself at the far end of it?

Not too long after I got in line, a man joined the queue right behind me. Out of the blue, he asked me what was in the bags I was holding. He thought the bags looked familiar. Um...okay. When he saw it was bulb fertilizer, he said, "Most people don't know that a little of that goes a long way. You must be going to plant a lot of bulbs." Yes, as a matter of fact I was, I told him. Hundreds. (Okay, so I exaggerated just a bit, but I honestly don't know how many and I'm pretty sure it approached two hundred, and that's plural.)

He proceeded to tell me about how you only needed a very small amount of fertilizer for each hole with each bulb and even a small bag like I was buying two of would really take care of hundreds of bulbs. Yes, I know. And I'm really quite proud of myself at how pleasant I was when he was being so generous with his advice about bulb fertilizer. I mean, I know he was just trying to be nice and helpful.

But what I wanted to say was:

You have no idea how many bulbs I'm going to plant. For all you know, I might be planting bulbs at my house, my neighbor's house, and my neighbor's neighbor's house. Maybe I'm buying it for all of us and we're going to share it.

Yes, I know it goes far. That's a wonderful thing about bulb fertilizer, unlike those sprays like insecticidal soap that I swear contain three squirts and some air.

I do not want to run out of it as I have in the past. It's so irritating to be down on your knees, planting the last twenty bulbs when you've run out of bulb fertilizer and the nearest store is half an hour away.

It's fertilizer, for crying out loud, and there's no law that says I can't use it for fertilizing things other than bulbs if I want. Plants can't read.

It's cheap. Like $3.27 a bag cheap.

Instead, I just smiled and let him pontificate about the bottomless bags of bulb fertilizer I was buying. I haven't decided if listening to him made the time in the line seem to go faster or COULDN'T THE LINE PLEASE GO ANY FASTER????

I did learn two things that day. One is that free advice is just that - free. There for the taking. Or not. But more importantly, maybe I've been in line with someone before and I decided they needed my advice. And maybe, just maybe, they didn't.