Black is supposed to be slimming. I like black. Not that I've really ever had to worry about my butt looking big (I'm lucky that way), but it looks better in black. I'm not sure even that could help the Spined Micrathena though. I call them Big Butt Spiders.
You know them. When they stroll across their webs, the whole web shakes. They look like they're carrying all their worldly possessions on their backs. They're creepy and menacing-looking and these days, I run into them EVERYWHERE.
Most of our spiders around here are not dangerous and though the Big Butts look mean, they're not. Once you get past the spines and the mere fact that they're spiders, they're actually rather cool in a so-ugly-they're-cute kind of way.
I just wish they'd make their webs somewhere else, because they're everywhere you want to be.